I'm so sorry you've had to endure all of this. My take on intimacy rejection is it's a matter of control and in no way denotes a loving behavior, I'm guessing he wasn't holding you nor gentle with you in his denying you.

I saw attachment styles mentioned in a reply. I saw this online, I must have seen it before. It's a blog about attachment styles and even includes a little (non clinical yet informative) quiz of an assessment. Even if to take that with you into therapy or to empower yourself as you sort out your next path/direction in life.

https://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/indi...-relationships