Hi Yellowhotelroom, first I want to welcome you to Psych Central and I think you will find these forums helpful in that not only can you find others who can relate, but there are also a lot of articles and links you can learn to look up that touches on your challenge so you can understand better why you struggle so much.

I noticed when I looked at your "about me" that you stated that you have PTSD, this means you are predisposed to being a lot more sensitive when it comes to your boundaries and how others who don't listen and respect your boundaries can trigger a lot of anger. The truth is that you suffered from a trauma that has something to do with your experiencing feeling "out of control" to protect yourself in some way and that can lead to a person developing PTSD and becoming a lot more sensitive and defensive about things that "invade or intrude" on them in some way. Once a person experiences a trauma the person stores a lot of information about the trauma and how they genuinely felt threatened in a part of the brain that is more primitive and develops "reactions" based on threats a person experiences in their life. Often what happens is that the person can "react" before their conscious mind decides to do so and this can become very frustrating for this person in that they don't actually make the decision to "react" and that makes them frustrated and angry even though this is actually how our brains are set up so we avoid things that can be dangerous and a threat. Most of society has the ongoing opinion that all that we do or how we can react is based on conscious decisions when in reality that is simply NOT the case, especially when someone had experienced "trauma" that impacted them to the point where they developed PTSD.

It's helpful to learn about this so you don't end up going this self blaming route, it's also helpful to work with a therapist that can help you develop skills so that you can gradually reduce and manage these sensitive boundary challenges. Also, it can be helpful if your family is made aware of this sensitivity so they can be more supportive verses picking on you about something that is a very "real" challenge. Healing comes from a person gradually regaining their personal sense of control to where that person begins to rebuild their "own" personal sense of safety and personal awareness of what bothers them and what to work on where they slowly develop a kind of extra switch that can override this challenging sensitivity that can be very frustrating.