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I was guilty of all the above. From threatening suicide, to self-harm to over dramatizing events, all in the name of having someone show me I am worth their time, effort and emotional energy. To be that one special person held in their mind and heart. Childhood emotional neglect and abuse leaves a gaping hole in that person that is so painful it causes them to risk their own lives to get it filled. I am not a kid anymore. I am 50 and I still do manipulative behaviors to get my needs met but not on a grand scale. I no longer self-harm or threaten suicide as I have been reparented by a therapist just as messed up as me. Now at my age I am trying to be the best adult self I possibly can be to navigate through the rest of my life without so much mental anguish.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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