Thread: Insight
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Old Jul 16, 2018, 05:01 AM
Gabyunbound Gabyunbound is offline
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Member Since: May 2016
Location: U.S.
Posts: 944
When I first started this journey, some 12 years ago (it started much earlier but that's when I was diagnosed) I had 0 insight. Over the years I think I've acquired quite a bit, and I credit this largely to a pdoc I had some 6 years ago who explained a lot to me; he was big into education and an all-around lovely pdoc.

I think it has helped me be less impulsive, because I'm more aware of my moods. I know when I'm going into an episode, tell my pdoc and change meds accordingly.

That said, said insight did not stop me from impulsively moving from Boston to California 4 years ago: my pdoc asked me again and again: are you sure you've planned this out? (yes, but no). Do you really have a job over there (yes, but no). Etc. I wanted to go so so bad, I just lied. I was lying to him, but also to myself. I had a place to live, one that didn't suit me (full of retirees) and that was it. After I calmed down, after the storm, It took me some time in CA to realize what I had done. I think I was too ashamed to admit it to myself, especially since CA didn't work out (amongst other things, the job I thankfully got quickly, was 2.5 hours away from where I was living). Damn I felt ashamed. Shame can be so toxic. It took a very good friend I made to get me back to the East Coast and this time to a state where I had some family, where I'd have a support system.

So, to answer your question: yes and no. Insight has helped me sometimes, but not all the time. I think it helps me with hypomania and depression, but not with mania.
Hugs from:
yellow_fleurs
Thanks for this!
yellow_fleurs