Hi Jello, I hope my previous post didn't seem to make the issues with your H seem easier than they are. Your life sounds overwhelming right now--what a balancing act. I understand about crumbling in the face of anger. I hope you can keep working in therapy to get strong and more able to withstand him. (My H is also emotionally/verbally abusive and has NPD, but sounds a lot more functional.) I hope you are able to stop being his therapist and can extricate yourself safely. The immigration thing is a powerful tool for you, and your lawyer will have ideas on how to use it. Just do what you can for now, and bide your time while you gather strength and have clear financial and legal strategies. Please keep coming here for support--we care. You will get stronger as time passes.

If worse comes to worse, and I hope it doesn't, there are more extreme measures to consider: changing the locks on your doors, getting a restraining order, moving somewhere and keeping it secret from him, etc. A book that helped me learn more about my fear and how it could help me was:
The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence
There are a couple of chapters on abusive partners and some helpful advice on how and whether to take more extreme actions such as restraining orders: the pros and cons.

(((((JelloFluff)))))