I don't like your H, sorry Art.

He seems effing threatened by your growth. Also saying he wanted to kill himself after the phone argument, sounds like a suicide threat (emotional manipulation), which I'm super wary of since it's VERY effective.

I was in a friendship where the other party used it to get their way and continually verbally and emotionally abuse me. It doesn't have to be willful malice for someone to act out and subsequently learn things implying "You made me feel like killing myself!" work VERY WELL for controlling others.