Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn
He said he can't live with my wishy washy (saying I'll quit then going back) (I can't blame him for this I piss myself off) and that I need to choose. He also said
after the phone argument. That made me feel even more like crap. At least he stopped talking like that after I told him I did not hang up on him, that I'd thought he hung up on me when the call dropped. Last night after he got home he was grilling me about "why did you start in the first place do you even know?" I said yes and told him. "Why were you going after you fixed that?" I told him. I explained why I'm going back. I told him I'll just go back very briefly to go over the pictures with her and get copies and that's it. 2 sessions tops. I won't work on the other stuff I wanted to. For now we are ok because I agreed to go only twice more.
He also said he's tired of hearing about my worry the last 3 weeks. I said well I haven't had her to talk to, so I've been talking to you which is what you said you wanted. He said well I can't live like that. You need to stop worrying and live your life.
Which is one of my main things in the therapy that he doesn't want ne to go to.
I'm a mess today. Sorry couch. |
Ugh, I'm so sorry, Art. I'd be a mess, too.
First, as QM said, his comment about what he wanted to do after the phone argument is extremely manipulative. (Even if he did legitimately feel that way.) And makes it sound like he needs therapy, too...though I get the sense he's the type who would never go.
The thing he said about not wanting to hear your worries would bother me, too. It makes me think of what my H said a few months ago, where all I talk about is therapy (so not true!) And I was like, "well, you said you wanted me to share more of what was going on in my head, and this is what's going on in my head right now, so..." He's been better about it since then.
Your H clearly doesn't understand anxiety, because, as I'm sure you know, "stop worrying" does NOT work! Along with "there's nothing to be anxious about," etc. I'm sure you wish you didn't worry so much or that you could be more decisive--I know I do (about myself!) anyway--and it's not like you're doing this on purpose to annoy your H. Sorry, I'll stop ranting, I just feel for you.
Any way you can talk to your T before next week? (Or is it this week you see her?)