Hi, clin1812. I don't have children, so I have no business offering an opinion, much less advice, so...take it for what it's worth.

When I was growing up, kids had lots of autonomy; in fact, the kids in my neighborhood outnumbered the adults by far, so, for the most part, my childhood was spent playing games, climbing trees, building forts, camping, etc. I certainly wasn't ignored, but I wasn't being closely observed either. When I had problems, I could always go to my parents, but they gave me plenty of space otherwise. I don't think my parents even knew when I started shaving...I was following the lead of my friends/classmates. Having my mother involved in anything personal like body functions would have creeped me out (and probably her, too). I admit that raising a child in today's world is infinitely more complex than it used to be, which is why I don't have kids.

Mothers and daughters almost always have difficult and complicated relationships, but I felt better about myself knowing that my mom had other things to think about besides me. In my home, my parents ruled together, as a team, and their loving relationship was a high priority. I learned more from their relationship than I could have from any words they spoke. It's obvious that you love your daughter and want the very best for her, and she seems to be excelling in every way possible, so maybe you could relax a little? If kids play hard enough, they'll probably sleep enough, too.

Hope you don't take offense. Again, just an observation.