I am very grateful for things on the job front, with an asterisk (*).

As I've said many times on this forum, I've been floundering for the past 10 years, largely due to undiagnosed bipolar disorder. I bounced from job to job, lasting between 6-18 months in each. I got a boring, dead end temporary contract between Feb 2017 and Oct 2017. Then, took some time off to "figure things out."

It was very frustrating. I know I'm intelligent, but also that I have severe limitations due to Bipolar disorder. I wanted a routine, 9 to 5 job. But I find it hard to sit at an officer for 8 hours a day, and end up just wasting time surfing the Web, tuning out in meetings, and just not getting things done in general.

About a month ago, a friend of mine from business school texted me and said he wanted to meet for coffee. "What the heck," I thought, as I agreed. Turns out he'd been looking for someone to help him grow his business. He was very impressed with my profile, and thought I'd be the perfect fit.

Was very happy to join forces with him, given his solid knowledgebase, the prestige of a high level title, interesting subject material, and the fact that I can work from home mostly, with meetings about once or twice a week.

Downside? Job doesn't have a fixed salary; rather, it's based on commission - how much I bring in. Also, my bipolar disorder has a number of co-morbid conditions. I can definitely write, when focused, and am able to speak eloquently in public settings. That said, I'm prone to ADHD, analysis paralysis, procrastination, and intense anxiety. I have been sitting on a task for the last 3 weeks: writing a simple blog post to try to market our company's products and services. I've put together a bare bones outline, but have spent hours and hours researching the content, writing notes (I also have hypergraphia), watching Webinars, calling people for meetings…doing everything aside from sitting down to write the darned blog post. Everything seems so compelling when I sit down to focus on a task. "Oh, let me set up a meeting with David," or "I have the world's greatest tweet that I need to share," or "I need to vent on Psych Central." And then, after 7 hours, it's time to wind down and attend to the 3 kids. I fear that my bad habits will lead to losing this job. It's a shame / procrastinate / shame cycle.

Ok I know that turned into a negative rant. But the bottom line is, I am grateful that I was able to land this job.