It isn't terribly unusual for fathers to be more lax than mothers tend to be, especially fathers with daughters. It seems to me that instead of getting into the right/wrong blame game, which virtually forces the child to feel split in two and take sides, it's most important for the parents to present a strong partnership to the child. Even if that sometimes means compromising and acquiescing to the other parent, even if it means letting go of some of our control. To the child what is more important than an exact bedtime is for mom and dad to be on the same page and respect each other in unity. That way, the child feels safe and secure, not torn and anxious.