I think to say you failed as a human being is contradicted in the very statement itself. You certainly sound different from most people as am I. I haven't met the expectations of any of my social roles. So be it. I'm not working either, and frankly I'm enormously relieved to not have that pressure. The fact is I find most people a compete bore. They all ultimately fail to meet my expectations. As have I. So what does that leave me. Simple with a much stronger sense of faith wonder and spirituality. It's a luxury most people can't afford, but people like me, dare I say you have it.