I was in court again yesterday because I contacted my former key worker and her ex earlier this year when I was in one of my funny moods again. She moved to a different town, 16 miles from where I reside. Now, I had no idea of that at all, but I had to go to the court in her area. Anyway, her ex-boyfriend and her are not even bothered about my messages - I'm sure. They tell the police a lot of exaggerated things to make me look bad, because this woman no longer likes me in any way, shape or form. My lawyer then got a copy of the police report, but I can tell you for a fact that this has all been staged. I've sent them messages several times over the years, yes, but they were more so apologies and I just laid out some truth as well. Even when I met the guy at a band night years ago, I was not nasty. He asked me what happened between us. Then in various reports, he told the cops we had met, like that gave him leverage. Many of my Facebook messages and emails consisted of me expressing how sorry I was that his then partner fell out with me.

What's aggressive about telling multiple people that ruined my life, the truth? My lawyer however got annoyed at me yesterday, because he said they really don't want to know me, but then I tried to explain that I regretted the situation ever happening. He acted like none of that matters.

This basically all started in 2013 for multiple reasons. One reason was that a fellow service user gossiped to my key worker things about me to turn her against me, but he was even visiting the supported accommodation I was in and nobody that isn't a resident is meant to go there. He admitted this to my sister on Facebook, and was like, "Ha-ha. I got him sent down" and clearly loved his handy work, because I know he's that type. To be honest, my mental health has been poor since 2002 due to Internet related harassment and it only gets worse. Now I have people making YouTube videos about me, because I defended a guy who likes the Resident Evil games.

Like, I made a video ages ago and uploaded it to YouTube. Obviously I didn't appear very relaxed, but I wouldn't say I was acting in any threatening manner. But what have I been saying all along? I lost my flat and my support over something dumb years ago, but my life probably will never be the same.

My bail was actually opposed, but because I plead guilty, they deferred the outcome for another month, for another social worker report. What is it with all these social reports anyway? Like I said last year, I'm as good as "retired" now.

I'm honestly way tired of the court. I'm also tired of social services. You should hear about what they did to my sisters. But anyway, I cannot really discuss their problems. However, social workers have made life difficult for my family.

And quite frankly, I have no reason to trust so-called support workers any longer. Maybe not all of them are bad, but so many of them are not trustworthy. This charade has really messed up my life. I've felt hopeless and like I cannot move forward. Part of me hates them for what occurred, but another part of me feels like I wanted to be noble and I feel sad for getting a raw deal.