I think that if you're confused, you should keep talking about it. My T thinks that learning to reach out and having the experience of being heard and supported is an important part of my therapy, so I'm allowed to call or email her whenever I feel the need. (She probably trusts my judgment/discretion more than I do, and so far she hasn't ever seemed to think I shouldn't have reached out when I have.)

My T has said a similar thing about letting her worry about her boundaries. I think it's because at first I wanted a very concrete list of what to do and what not to do in order to keep her happy. She wanted me to practice a more fluid approach of trusting myself and trusting her to navigate things together. She is an incredibly steady and generous person, and so far our relationship has been a very healing experience. Hopefully your T can clarify his thinking about allowing you to contact him and you can work out what that looks like together.