Hello there thank you very much for reading the post and enlightening me. I'm not worried but wondering I'm not to sure if I have a strong signal within me if he legally raped me. There has always been something uncomfortable about him. I don't think he meant to but he wanted to use me for what he wanted and it really hurt me, I may just be on the search for closure and revenge. I think I was lucky in the situation I was in, I don't think he did anything to bad but there are times when he is all talk and I see him target people who aren't popular at college to hang around with, they have nothing in common he is using them. He had asked a few girls to have sex with him and telling them he fancied them, other guys said about him "he will shag anything that moves" I know he has manipulative, psychopathic, shallow, superficial, sadistic traits, but not completely shallow he can be nice and honest, you can tell he knows what it's like to be ignored by others. I think he does have it in him to be a bit cruel and twisted. I want to know if he legally raped me? I didn't take drugs, I didn't know he would put his penis in my mouth and I didn't say no, I would of done anything he wanted, he wasn't trying to force anything but he wanted me in his house for sex not to be friends. I drank a few big gulps of his old vodka and a few sips of WKD, it's a teenage alcohol drink with not much spirit in. Id never been drunk before but I think I was drunk. I want to make it clear I went to his house to have sex, I wanted to make love, I made the first move after I drank for courage, he wanted to have me in his home for sex but was under the impression that he mastered his plan and got me there with no idea, he thinks he instigated it. I wanted to be close I said yes and yes with no condom I was being sick and wanted to keep trying. I ask if he raped me legally, however fine a line it was, as someone suggested I may have actually preferred him to take the higher road before he actually tried taking the high road when I was being sick he helped me to get dressed and gave me water before his parents would be home.

I didn't want it to be that way, I wanted to make love and not be sick. So we both skipped college pretty much the next day and I asked him to sneak over to my dads flat to try it again properly, it's like nothing was there not real feelings, it was meaning less. I wasn't very sexaully aware of what things should feel like in terms of Pleasure but I don't think there was anything. And he just left me again and a day later he messaged me saying I don't think we should do it anymore, he had enough of me and had what he wanted whether he felt it was worth it or not. Did he rape me legally because of drink?