I see her tomorrow after work. I'm doing better, thanks. I talked to one of my friends I just went to the sister weekend with yesterday and she helped a lot, she overheard h yelling at me when I talked to him on the phone at one point during the weekend and was really supportive and said some of the same things y'all said, it helps to hear it out loud reinforcing you guys y'know? She thinks I should not do anything except live my own life the way I want and if he leaves, he leaves its on him. He and I talked again last night and he said he just had all of that bottled up inside him since last summer. He didn't apologize but whatever. I am taking my friend's advice and pushing for marriage counseling because I do still love him and want help figuring out if what we have is worth trying to save. I'm unsure if it is, but I want it to be.