Due to my pdoc and t having unfortunate life circumstances resulting in an inability to provide consistent care (pdoc has a brain tumor and is getting chemo, t is out of the country caring for her sick mother), I'm transitioning my psych care to a different hospital system. I've been in limbo for the last several months but I finally met with my new therapist (who is fine, I guess) and he told me that I should plan to wrap up with my pdoc by the end of the month. (He also said I should plan to see currently-out-of-the-country t once or twice when she's back so that we can come to some sort of ending as well.)

I saw pdoc today and let him know about the end-of-the-month deadline. (He has been doing therapy with me every other week in addition to med management so this imminent stopping feels like an actual termination of therapy, not just a switching of prescribers.) We decided that after today I'll see him one more time and that will be it. I had hoped that he would, like, guide the process somehow but that isn't really what happened. When I asked how he usually manages terminations, he said that he doesn't do a lot of them--he's been at the same clinic for >10y and most of his patients have chronic severe mental illness so they need care forever; the only times he's had to terminate is when people move or some such thing. (I said, "so neither of us know what the f*** we're doing?" He didn't especially appreciate that.) He said that he wanted me to know that he has truly enjoyed working with me. He said that if I come out of the process feeling like the termination was because of external circumstances and not because I am "too much" for him, that will be a success.

That just feels like a pretty low bar to me--what about, like, looking back at the work we've done together? Things that went well and things that didn't? Or hopes for the future? I don't know exactly what I want, but what he outlined is not it.

Does anyone have any thoughts on how to orchestrate a graceful and meaningful termination even if your therapist is unable to do so?