For the longest time I’ve been diagnosed with the diagnosis schizoaffective bipolar type. I’ve always struggled with substance abuse, alcohol and psychedelics. I also have PTSD and OCD. But now I’m sober and it makes more sense to be bipolar than schizoaffective. For one I don’t have negative symptoms and Two I only have psychosis during mood episodes. When I was using drugs and when I was off med I would be psychotic 24 seven. I always believed I must be schizoaffective because I used to have a flat affect before I used drugs. Now I’m your typical bipolar. My pdoc says I’m “very very psychotic bipolar aka schizoaffective”. But starting to think he just told me what I wanted to hear. I have grandiosity. I think I am Jesus. But no I really am a special person. We all are. I don’t wanna be Jesus. But I think god has a plan for me to change the earth. We all change the earth. But I believe I have a special purpose. I make music and have written books. That’s how I believe I’m supposed to fill the prophecy... I’d rather though, be coupled with the Jimi Hendrixes of the world than be in a class of my own. I don’t really fit in on the schizophrenic forum I go on. I am unique as it is I think I don’t wanna increase my uniqueness with sza diagnosis. Bipolar is unique enough for me. And it makes more sense. A “lesser” diagnosis doesn’t take away all my pain and
struggle. I am happy to be bipolar today. Also it proves that these are genetic disorders. No matter how much ketamine, weed, lsd, mushrooms, mescaline and dmt ecstasy I did, although still bad for me in many ways, I did not change from bipolar to sza. So it proves to me it’s genetic disorder not as much environmental. I live in Connecticut. What’s up?