Hi Thirty shades. I used to choose the wrong men for a long time. My parental units lied to me (amongst other things) so thoroughly that I was still emotionally a “child” at 19. I have good A levels and a degree so clearly I’m not “stupid”, but I didn’t experience anything approaching healthy parenting, and I didn’t even have a good, close, honest relationship with a teacher or aunt. The parental units hid the “truth” from others in the “family” also. And I have no siblings Basically I had no positive role models of how to be a healthy, happy “well adjusted” (whatever that means) “adult”.

I have had some “relationships” with very abusive men. I was engaged to an abuser (who I met at university). But the abuse became so bad that eventually I tried to end it. This is a long and unpleasant story so I’ll just conclude with letting you know that it is possible to have a good loving relationship with a partner .. I’ve been married to Papa Bear for a long time.

Thank you for posting .. please keep sharing here