Oh Fuzzy Bear, I really do relate to your experiences.

I live in the UK and have had difficult experiences with GP's and mental health teams. I was upset with the receptionist at my GP surgery one day and begged for help. They lied and said I had been rude and struck me off their list. If they had treated my distress then I would not have to keep going back.

I was only given repeated CBT sessions which helped a bit to start but have now left me over analysing the events in my life. I work hard not to but they have done more damage to me rather than offering meaningful treatment.

I am now too distrustful of mental health teams. And they don't want to give you a second opinion in another area either. That is not allowed if your brain is broken. Its like they are blaming us and we are not to blame for what has happened.

You are a very worthy person and I can relate to your, I want to live but also die thoughts. Other people can think your playing them, if only they could experience it for a day, then people would understand.

Much love and big bear hugs to you and all other posters.