People get to define whatever they want to however they want to. I presume when people post here (or at least mostly) that they are willing to hear how other people see it, not to dismiss the poster's reality but to see the range of possible perspectives. Much of my own suffering, post CSA, was about how I defined and then reacted to things. Being less rigid and being willing to consider how I could see or think about something different has been good for me. If people don't want to hear something other than what they believe, they can just say so in their original post.

I think the question is not so much how does a person define abandonment or anything else (my personal area is disrespect), but what does it mean once you define it? If you could think about it differently, what might change for you?

People can hunker down and insist that abandonment is exactly this, no matter what anyone else thinks. Up to each individual. But sometimes the willingness to change for the better begins with the consideration of how you precisely look at things.