Art, also with the physical improvements you’ve made lately..dropping weight, wearing nicer clothes, more confident..that could also be sending mixed signals to H and he might be going on the defense. So, you’ve grown emotionally and spiritually and shrunk physically and he’s still in the same spiral.
This whole thing could be two-fold.. like MP just said... you may be missing the one who got away and your H could be thinking he’s got the one that’s gonna get away. Though I think if he really wanted to work on it than he would agree to try everything aka marriage counseling.