Hi, sgd, thanks for thyroid suggestion, but it ain't that - wish it was something I could get a tablet for.
I suppose the point of my post was just to get reassurance and support from the forum. I can't be me very well unless I feel safe - I had seen ppl being supportive to others while I was lurking around.
But that old depression thing always tells me ' you are different, they won't be like that with you ' and other nasty stuff.
I joined the forum to stand up to that ( thinking here about your other post saying 'fight it' ) but in doing so lots of old thought patterns are throwing themselves in my way - and it's so hard. Its a new way of fighting it that I am doing here - reaching out to others instead of pushing it down and pretending it isn't there.
keep on keeping on............