Maybe not the same but close enough.

About 8 years ago ( before I was diagnosed with BP my husband and I literally were getting divorced neither of us had the money to move out nor divorce money at the time so we just agreed to be kind to each other until we could figure it out. He moved into another bedroom. We still loved each other but between my undiagnosed problem and him thinking I was doing it for attention and the horrible fights I just gave up.

A old boyfriend that was married ... we started talking (he lived thousands of miles away. ) it was such an amazing thing he listened to me he supported me emotionally , I finally had someone who openly cared.

But it hit me one day ... my husband did love me but we where in a mess neither of us knew how to be supportive to each other we weren’t getting what we needed from our marriage.

The old boyfriend was of course supporting me because “ I could tell him what was lacking “and how it all was a mess.

We briefly talked about getting together but we knew it would never work , we made better friends than lovers.

I got into therapy and eventually things cooled off between my husband and I .. we started talking , oh it was hard to voice all my concerns as it was for him.

We worked on our marriage it took time but our marriage is stronger today than it was back when we married. People and expectations change over time.

I ended the talking between old boyfriend when my husband and I worked and literally fought to make it work. There was no room for a third party to be in the mix.

My advice is work to get support from your husband and fix a broken relationship.... stop looking for support from this other married guy or bow out of the marriage.

I hope you can figure something out , life is so hard at times.