I think it's easier for me now since my parents are dead. I don't have to keep proving myself to my dad (and failing). I don't have to take my mother's side on their arguments (they fought until my mother was terminally ill) just so I can get a crumb of attention.

I have all these crying parts and only my last therapist understood. That's why he suggested reparenting--and that's what we did. I still have them but they're not as loud because they're being loved by me.