Once, I was so incredibly euphoric that I believed God was allowing me to experience Heaven on earth. I’m certain no drug could ever get me that high. Despite all of the destruction and psychosis that came with it, I still find myself jealous of that feeling. These days, when I find myself manic, most of me wants to ditch the meds and chase the high. I don’t though...I know the damage it does to my family and I choose to call my pdoc while I still have some perception. We almost always put out the fire quickly with med adjustments and often it makes me feel downright boring.