It's late, or early, according to your perspective. So I got the idea, but didn't read it all.

I had a lot of heartbreaks in my early teen. I was shooting for the moon. Even married women.
Once I got a hold of the first one, at age 16, I've never been alone.
I married at 19 the first time and lasted twelve years. Many extra marital affairs in that time.

See, I got a problem. Everyone wants to marry me.
Meaning I could never master the one-night-stand thing. I most look stupid and easy to women. Or both.

Being married all this time. Fifty two years in a row, to three different women. And being very polyamorous.
I've had many many breakups. None amicable. Always by me. Never accepted.
BTW, I can't have a relationship without being madly in love with the other party. I fell in love every week.
I think four breakups a year for extracurriculum activities, is not too far fetched.

My second marriage, coincidentally, also lasted twelve years.
I ran away with a friend, married woman. I lost it all.
She almost lost it all, but the main house. She lost more than me.
In a company, money and properties, I was scraping a mill. Probably more.
She was closer to three mills. But at least she had a place to stay.

We cohabited for ten years. I didn't wanted to marry officially again. My bad.
All the diplomas and titles she has accquired, are with the previous guy's name.
The father of her daughters.
She warned me. "Once you start a career, you don't change names". "Let's do it now".
I said no. "You don't have health insurance". I said no.
"The capital we accquiring will not be equally half and half.". I said no.
I was healthy, making way more money than her, and living with her. Why sign a piece of paper.

One day, she decided that we needed to file together and for that, we needed to get married.
It was in April. I asked what was the latest day I could wait to make it work. "December 31". I was a marked man.
I finally agreed, only the court was closed on the 31. It had to be on the 30th.

We were dressed like we did every day. Me, in a regular bussiness suit, she in a lab coat.
Those were the wedding rags.
In ten minutes, we were signing papers. Thirty dollars for the licence.
A lady approached with a Polaroid camera, took a picture, and charged me five dollars for the wedding album.
At the court steps there's a hot dog cart with good kosher hot dogs. The wedding reception costed me an additional six dollars.

Total expenditure for a full blown wedding, forty one dollars. Life was good.
BTW, she waited two years so I could buy her a real rock. More like forty one thousand this time. I got it wholesale and is an investment, not a expenditure.

We have been together thru thick and thin, for twenty eight glorious years, and counting.

My encounters with cupid never stopped. She was too busy trying to make something out of herself to notice. Or didn't wanted to know. Until my last big, three years depression.
I couldn't conduct business as usual, so I quitted the sport.
As of late, I've been practicing again, thought. Only now, what I like, doesn't like me.
And what likes me, I don't like. If you know what I mean.

There. Many forced breakups. Always putting the santity of marriage in front.