Thanks for this.
The latest thing my T and I discussed was, among some other things, about my father and him being rather absent and not emotionally supportive to me. He still lives in that hometown I dreamt about.
I think I as a child didnīt want to show too much if I felt scared, lonely, sick or such. I remember just laying in my bed crying hoping for my mother to hear it. As a young teenager I was often afraid of getting sick and I sometimes thought I was. But I didnīt actually spoke that much about it and I think I also felt ashamed for crying and wanting her to hear me.
The personal meaning to me about my T smoking in that dream is that if she really did I would probably lose a lot of respect for her. She seems to live rather healthy and I never have suspected that she smokes. To smoke on rare occasions might be fine but living unhealthy is another thing. (To me that is and how I perceive my T)
I canīt really think of anyone that mistreated me and that I now as an adult understand didnīt mean to. Iīm disappointed in both my parents and I donīt feel that close to them, perhaps my dream has something to do with that.
Perhaps my dream also is some kind of "worst case scenario" when it comes to my T as sheīs now on vacation and a fear I have is that our relationship wonīt be the same when she returns. Itīs mostly a fear and I donīt think the realtionship actually will be altered in any substantial way when she returns from her vacation.
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Originally Posted by Perna
What an interesting dream, SarahSweden, thank you for sharing it! It probably would be most helpful if you could share it with your therapist as it is about you and her relationship and therapy, etc. probably. I have a couple thoughts that might help you?
That you were suddenly walking in your old home town and that you were meeting your therapist in the "morning" might mean that the dream is about a situation that took place when you were younger/lived in your old home town; what issues were you and your therapist discussing last or what have you been thinking of that might have to do with that era/place/people in that place?
Do you have anyone in your past who smoked or put up a "smoke screen" were inattentive, you were afraid to "disturb" because they were preoccupied with something else, etc.?
That the other colleague was a male; might be mother/father sort of dualism (was your father more caring than your mother or are the roles reversed or anything?) or it could just be you are looking for/finding "balance" in some subject you and your T are working on? You have a preoccupied, unavailable female maybe trying to hide something behind a smoke screen (or smoking gun, smoldering/smoking fire/anger, smoke out -- force someone/you to tell all, etc. I don't know your personal meaning for her smoking, only you can do that association) and then you have the reassuring male colleague saying T really does care which you accept because in your home town you are thinking something must have happened to her, that there's a reason she's being/acting as she did.
That's another thought, you go from the male colleague (as-good-as your T) reassuring to the past/old home town and there accept there must be a reason your T is acting how she's acting. Do you have someone in your past who mistreated/ignored you that you have trouble with "understanding" and maybe are now getting glimmer of the thought that maybe it did not have anything to do with you, that they had their own problems/issues and maybe they really did care but that could not come through to you?
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