Yes. Yes it is.

This is very troubling. I always want to leave room for the possibility that I am misunderstanding and that I don't know the whole context but... It sounds like this T really doesn't keep up with the science on trauma. Her approach strikes me as not okay and not in keeping with the times.

If you were abused, there was an abuser. If you were "abused," there was an "abuser." Do you see the tremendous potential for harm to you and others here? We are so vulnerable and so suggestible when dealing with our pain in therapy. This is not something an ethical therapist speculates about aloud with her client!

In any field, I have found that the ability to tolerate uncertainty is the mark of a superior mind. In therapy that might mean the ability to see that you have this pain and these symptoms and accept that neither of you fully understand them. You can work to lessen their hold on you and in talking over time you'll probably both understand more about where it all comes from. But you'll never know everything. The idea that there's some hocus-pocus technique (which, as IDIMW mentioned, is not the purpose of EMDR anyway) that would give you all the answers like an episode of CSI is wishful thinking. But in reality it's dumb and dangerous.