I’m a recovering lawyer turned artist. Bipolar killed my career in law, but I’d rather be an artist anyway. I’m not making much money though. But that’s beside the point. In my experience I fall apart without meds, unable to focus, create or analyze anything. It is no real existence except when hypomanic in a fun way. But lately my manias are dysphoric and very uncomfortable.

The thing about being hypomanic in a fun way is that it can betray you into thinking you are Superman, or in my case, superwoman. It is a lie. The stuff I do either as an artist or lawyer when hypomanic/manic always needs redoing.

Maybe you aren’t as sharp as you are when hypomanic, cognitive struggles come from both meds and the illness in general. And with every episode of mania, you do actual brain damage. It accumulates over time. Bottom line, find a med that is better for you and take it. Or you will be cognitively impaired in the long run.