I completely understand where you are coming from. When I finally decided that I needed therapy (actually, a friend told me that I needed to go when I was having a complete breakdown at work one day), I visited my regular doc and he tried to understand, but felt he wasn't capable of really doing what needed to be done to help me. (At this time I was working and had Blue cross/blue shield insurance) So, he referred me to the only pdoc in the area. I went to the first visit, thinking that my insurance would pay for some of the cost...come to find out ins. only covers psychiatric illnesses after a $1000 yearly deductible (on top of the $500 gen medical deductible). So my visit ended up costing over $200, because it was the initial get to know you visit. Anyhow, I paid, got in the car and FREAKED OUT!!! I was a single mom at the time and barely made enough to cover the bills as it was. The pdoc office tells me it will cost about $70-$110 per visit (depending on length), so I decide I cannot possibly go back. (Sorry, I know this is long) ANyhow, they call to remind me of my next visit and I convince myself I should go, even though it is expensive. Again, the visit costs about $110...on the third visit, I explain to the pdoc (whom is a wonderful guy) that I am poor and cannot afford to come to his office for therapy. He suggests community counseling, so I make an appointment. The "therapist" was a jerk, seemed extremely bored talking with me, our personalities did not mesh, but I made a second appointment with him to give it another try. The T DIDN"T show up for the 2nd appointment. TOOK THE DAY OFF, didn't call me to reschedule or anything!!!!!!!!! So I quit all of it, I quit the pdoc, I quit the T, I quit my meds (450 effexor ex) and basically went on a HUGE downward spiral for nearly a year. When I did finally decide I had to go back (by this time I had quit my job because of freaking out). When I went back to the Pdoc he wanted to know why I had abandoned therapy. I explained about the T and about the costs of the visits and the general anxiety of having to spend so much on my self and he now offers me psychotherapy as well as med management for $10 a visit. He gives me all the free samples he can get his hands on and recently helped me enroll in this program called "Bridges to access" that is going to pay for my Wellbutrin sr script for at least the next year.

I guess my long ramble was to give you hope that somehow you can work it out. My pdoc told me that if I was willing to work on getting better, he was willing to help me in anyway he could.

Believe me, I know what it feels like to not have insurance and not have piles of cash lying around to pay for extra things with (like therapy and meds), my best suggestion is to call a pdoc and explain your situation. It may take a few tries, but I bet there is someone who will treat you for little or nothing. (Also, if you are freaked out by calling--I AM--maybe a friend or family member could call and plead your case for you.)