Dance Engine, you know, when I have been in similar shoes as you, I have pulled myself up by the bootstraps to make my life better. It took hard work, it took effort, it didn't come easily and it did not come quickly, but it happened, and I turned my life around, all for the better, and in every single way.

I think you are dwelling because as you've pointed out, your life is not where you want it to be. So, I have continued to ask the same question: what can you do to improve your life situation? Can you look for another job, for example? I think if you switched to a better job, it would re-energize your life in a much more positive direction. And that friend of yours does not sound like a positive influence. Can you meet new people? Join free social and interest groups and get out and socialize more?