in all honesty, ive had relations with altering substances.. nothing hardcore tho.... plenty of alcohol...

i sobered at times.. didnt fix me... i was disappointed abouot that...

i always thought if i could repair the emotions, the rest would fall into line...

i was talking to mom... ive been cooped up in the house all winter... spring is in the air... feeling like getting out a bit...

i thought about what to do different than spending the day with my PC friends....

usually what i would do is meet with some friends and have some beers, some guy talk, some music, and strange as it sounds.... mediations together....

well, something different happened today....

i thought to myself... those experiences always end up in drunken pain.... so....

today, i looked outside... saw the beautiful blue sky and thought to myself.... some time at the park would be good... go for a walk... breath in the fresh cool air.....

i told myself and my mom... if its a change of atmosphere i want... why go hurt myself?

best to all of you in this forum....