Yes, exactly. That’s what I end up asking myself — “how can I be so self-destructive?” Not while I in flight, but after I’ve crashed and the consequences come into play.

I don’t know how to deal with this. It’s been so long since I’ve put myself into this kind of financial situation. I can last for two weeks, maybe. My power will be disconnected, I won’t be able to repay my payday loan, my AT&T bill or my rent.

I’ve really screwed the pooch this time. If I could get the high back I could... I could handle this better.