Art, I have a little different take on your therapist's focus on finances and protecting yourself, which not about it being her issues so much as maybe this is not her first rodeo with clients facing similar marriage issues. She can be directive, which doesn't go over very well, but I don't get the sense it's about any issues she has, or counter transference, just more that she has probably seen clients benefit from being more in charge of their finances and life goals. Why would someone who cares about you (your husband) not want that for you?

Anyway, I don't want to interrupt your feelings about her, but I just wonder if it's setting you off for a deeper reason.

I have had a very rough winter and spring with my therapist who I thought was all kinds of crazy and off the wall, and I even told her a couple of times that I worried for her mental stability. And then, the fog lifted and I was struck by how obviously right she was about things that I had been adamant were fabrications of hers. Example: I blew up at her when she said I was sick (as in, physically ill). I just thought she was being insane. It took months before I realized how out of touch I was with my health.