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Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
Yes, I knew it'd offend some people. May be many people. That's okay.
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More importantly, it doesn't answer the question.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dnester
Its offensive to some because they dont understand how someone could possibly have these thoughts. People dont just say hey! I think i will think these horrible thoughts. They come from somewhere. Where psychologists dont even know. Also alot of people arent aware you can have these thoughts but not act on them. When I was 11 I was already aware my thoughts were bad. I just didnt know it had a name. At that time my cousin who was 10 asked a girl who was about 7 to play a sexual game with us. I immediately freaked out because i had bad thoughts about her anyway. I dont remember what I did or said but I know I stopped it. It did not happen. One because I didnt want her to be a victim and two because I didnt want to be a perpetrator.
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Dnester, I understand pretty well how someone could have these thoughts, and I have the utmost sympathy for you and your struggle. I think what's most important here is that, as you say, you have not acted on these thoughts. Not all CSA involves physical contact. Inappropriate exposure to sexual situations--such as you've described happening--is also considered abuse. What I find offensive in IDIMY's post, besides its utter lack of evidentiary support, is that it communicates to you that your struggle has the likely conclusion of your becoming a perpetrator. I hope you don't take that to heart.
But I do think it's important that you find an experienced T with whom you can feel safe to explore these thoughts and your quite obvious guilt for having them. That guilt certainly seems like an indication to me that you are punishing yourself, and whether or not you can ever know for sure where the thoughts come from, you can still confront your undeserved guilt.