I was first diagnosed with anxiety at age 16, almost 30 years ago. My primary doctors over the years kept me on valiue, then serax, then xanax. Ambien was added about 10 years ago.

I always had major issues going anywhere in public. I have suffered panic attacks this whole time, but I didn't know what they were. All of my doctors suggested seeing a psychologist.

After fighting this for all these years, I naturally had major depression along with the anxiety. I had a suicide attempt almost one year ago. After the 72 hours in the hospital, I began seeing the psychiatrist who treated me in the hospital. I now see his PNP on a regular basis. I went through 3 or 4 months of intensive outpatient group therapy. This was difficult because of my social anxiety, general anxiety, and panic. I was finally diagnosed as bipolar.

I am on zoloft and seroquel, in addition to the xanax and ambien. The meds help alot. I've also been on blood pressure meds since age 16. The group therapy was a difficult, but extremely helpful process. I did lose my job last August. I just started a new job early this year, and it is a mental struggle everyday.

I also still see a therapist for IT. She is one of the counselers at the group. It's a struggle each and every day. I still have panic in almost any situation, but I am trying very hard to stick with this job.