(((((((((((((Kalamity_Jane)))))))))))))
I'm sorry for your loss. My husband died several years ago. I so understand the guilt. I think it's probably normal to a degree. Intellectually I know my husband's death wasn't my fault, but it still feels like it, even now at times. Those "what if" and "if only" statements can be horrible. It's hard for sure. Time really did help me, even though I was the first to disagree that it would. Hang in there. I hope things get better for you soon.