I am sorry you are going through this terrible time. There is too much happening in your life that is causing you much distress. This needs to be moderated if at all possible. I want you to keep in mind that the importance of your mental health is above everything else, even though it may cost you thousands. Still, that out of state trip may have theraputic value. Preparing for it may be an additional stressor. Hang in there. Take one day at a time. You are a worthwhile person. I am sure all of us here think so.