Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
I would find i had enough in common to relate to their situations, and it would give me a perspective on mine. Like, it was easier for me to think, "oh, he is SO lying to YOU, why cant you SEE?" or whatever, and then you see why she cant see, and then you see what you couldnt or wouldnt see in yourself. And why your t couldnt just poke it out of you.
I know, i talk too much!
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"And why your t couldn't just poke it out of you" haha. I'm all why didn't she freaking TELL me this a long time ago, but she says she did and I apparently wasn't ready to know it.
In other news, h and i talked for about an hour this morning before we got up for the day, I talked about why therapy is valuable to me, he talked about why he got so frustrated and held it in for so long until he just couldn't anymore, I won't try to state his reasons here because they're not up for discussion or debate, we talked about some of the things he said like threatening to leave, he said "I'm not going anywhere, I just said that because I was so frustrated." After we got up we went grocery shopping then came back home and paid the bills and then I asked him if we could continue talking and go over our finances because I really need to have a handle on them better than I do, and we talked for awhile about that he showed me his settlements from work going back a year and his records of all his mileage and expenses and all that stuff where he subtracts out his gas/meals/car maintenance/etc so I could see his weekly take home amounts, I mean I only ever saw the bottom line at tax time because he would give me the numbers to type into turbotax. then we started looking at our mortgage and the mortgage website has an amortization calculator thing where you can plug in different things and we were looking at different extra amounts per month paid towards principal, how much interest we could save and how much sooner we could pay off our house, and looked at my income alone and ran some quick numbers to see if I would be able to keep the house if I were on my own (if he passed away), etc. We spent most of the day on all of this. He just now got a call from work and left for a job. This is the h that I love, that I want to spend the rest of my life with, the same one that took care of me during my horrible depression 9 years ago, the one that he is much of the time except when he's not feeling well or is frustrated with me over going to therapy for so long.
I still have hope that we can work things out and I feel like we are. And if I get help by going to this codependents thing, then that's even better.