This all makes logical sense, like the over -intellectualizing defense I favor to which my T objects
. What's missing is the unconscious , mirror neurons, attachment theory. . . The art of therapy and the science of therapy. When the therapist says" Stay the course with me, I will be right with you, right by your side, trust in me, I will not let you down, you are not alone. . . These are the words of love, even if not the context of it. There's some aspect of connection that exceeds the description below, in which you imply that any credulous grown up knows what therapy is and should take it in stride if their therapist moves to Chicago or India, dies, takes a new job, or plain old doesn't like you any more .
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Originally Posted by tomatenoir
I obviously recognise that people can feel abandoned even if they've been given years of notice. And I'm not naive enough to assume all therapists behave ethically.
But at some point, you recognise that you'll sometimes have reactions that are disproportionate (valid, but disproportionate) to somebody's very reasonable actions. (Like feeling abandoned by a therapist who has given you notice and referred you on.)
It's not realistic to expect the world and everybody in it to stay static to spare your feelings. It's not realistic to expect a relationship to be pain free (though a good therapist will try to minimise this). This is what Budfox seems to be advocating therapists do and why I find his argument, well, silly. If a therapist did this, they're not helping their client deal with the real world.
I don't think you can wave to this forum as evidence of anything. A forum like this is going to attract people who have strong views on therapy, have had very good or very bad experiences in it, or who are deeply interested in therapy generally. The average forum member is not your average therapy goer.
And I still don't think Budfox has answered my question. Why does he berate therapists for setting up non-natural relationships with clients, but also expect them to create this impractical lifetime "I'll never ever leave or change" relationship?
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