I will try to find an event that maybe doesn't focus on socializing, if that makes sense. If it was a meetup to meet a group of people I don't know who are there to socialize, I have no doubt I won't make it out of the house.

I actually did something like that 20 years ago. My only friend at the time talked me into going to a singles meetup by myself and I ended up talking to no one and leaving after an hour. I guess I am not that assertive anymore.

I was pretty clear that I am looking for actual friends I think. I wrote "I am looking for a friend or three. Someone to have fun with. It would be nice to have someone to go fishing with or hiking or anything really. What do you like to do?". I thought that was pretty clear. I did answer a bunch of their goofy questions but avoided the dating and sex ones.

Even with a picture I can be anybody, right? I am not sure I understand this. I stressed over my realtor taking a picture of me and putting it on her website. Even with friendships it seems that looks is important, which is odd to me.

It seems that all online dating sites are used as hookup sites, but it can't be exclusively for that can it? The ones that claim they are for people looking for friends are blatantly hookup sites and worse.

Paid sites, like e-harmony or whatever that is called? Isn't that dishonest to put myself forward as looking for a relationship when I am not? I am not against the idea of dating I just don't think it is a possibility and it is something I don't think I could handle right now. At any rate it seems impossible to date without having friends. Wouldn't I be wasting their time if they were looking for something more exclusive?

There might be groups, I can look around. I know there are technical meetup groups but I really want to meet people outside of my field. It is embarrassing to have an MS degree yet not be capable of working.

I asked my doctor if I should lose 40 pounds or so, she said no. I don't do therapy. I have found that talking about my issues 2-3 times a week(and that is the number of appointments they say I need) makes them worse. I always get yelled at when I say it but I don't feel like I have self-esteem issues. If I am an ugly and worthless person isn't saying so a good thing?

The only vet groups I know of outside of group therapy are VFW posts and things like that. It is mainly people sitting around getting drunk and talking about their service. I have zero interest in that.

I will look around for groups and thank you for your help and kindness.