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Originally Posted by qwerty68
How is looking for friends creepy?
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Looking for friends is not creepy. Something you probably don't consider though is that there are guys your age and older who look for younger girls so they can have someone younger to sleep with and spend money on and whatnot. Sometimes they even put on this facade of just wanting to be friends. Some girls like that idea, a "sugar daddy" they call those types of men. That really young girl who contacted you was probably looking for such a thing.
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Originally Posted by qwerty68
There are a fair amount of women on that site close-ish to my age that say they are looking for friends. It seems the rules for men and women are different I guess. If I were looking for a hookup, I would say so. There is a check box for that so why would they not say that instead of 'looking for friends'?
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I've had to learn this one the hard way myself. People aren't always honest about what they want, either with themselves or others, and the meanings of those checkboxes can vary between person to person. For some they can check that box but it really means "looking for friends to turn into more than friends". They could also check it because they want to seem friendly, even if they aren't interested in friends. People might also be very picky about their friends.
It's frustrating, yes.
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Originally Posted by qwerty68
I don't think I am mentally in a place where I am ready for that sort of thing. Perhaps I am not ready for friends, even the most casual of friendships?
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That's gonna require you to do some soul searching on that. From what you've said here I worry for you that you're acting out of desperation and might end up getting hurt because of it instead of finding healthy friendships. Loneliness is very painful too, yes. It's a tough spot to be in. Having been hurt a few times and being afraid of it keeps me from making desperate moves, maybe even to a fault.
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Originally Posted by qwerty68
I think I am kind and fair to myself.
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Well I won't push it beyond this one last time, but it's definitely not kind to yourself to say what you do.
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Originally Posted by qwerty68
I haven't said hi or anything to anyone. Few people write enough to know if I have anything in common or enough to be able to say anything but hi. I do scan their profile quickly if I see things like energetic or always on the go I pass since I couldn't keep up with them with my physical and MH issues or if they are looking for a hookup. Things like that. I think I end up liking less than 50% of the profiles so I don't think I am taking a shotgun approach.
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"I have no clue what to say, other than 'hello'." That part from your first post is where I got the simple "hi" thing from, sorry if I misunderstood. It's good that you don't just go to everyone.
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Originally Posted by qwerty68
I definitely need to cast as wide of a net as possible. As a woman, you probably don't need to.
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Well I'm not a guy so I can't say what it's like on your side, but because I'm not a pretty or really social and happy I have a much harder time than most other gals in getting people to like me. I pretty much get ignored or outright told "no" no matter how much I have in common with someone on these sites because of my appearance mainly. I only have any luck making friends by joining online communities.