I've been struggling with this eating disorder for a few years. It may not sound like a lot, but it feels like 5 years have past from everything that's happened. >_< However, I'm glad to say that I'm doing so much better now compared to before. The only thing that's been bothering me still, is jealousy. I get so jealous of my sister, and I feel like I always have to compare myself to her. And I just don't feel good about myself around her. It's been draining me for a long time now. When I was going through the worst parts of this eating disorder, I felt like she was always eating less than me because she always skips meals, eats very little, is all dancey, and it always crushed me and made me want to starve myself further and further and further. (She doesn't have an eating disorder btw. She has depression though. Which just makes me feel guilty about feeling angry and jealous, and then I get angry with myself, and it's just not good.) And when I finally told her about what I was struggling with, it was really hard, of course, but I never told her how jealous I was of her, and how I felt like I wanted to blame her for everything. I just told her that I was struggling with an eating disorder. And then I felt like she didn't really listen when she started talking about her own experiences and giving me advice.(I just wanted her to listen like I have listened to her for pretty much my whole life.) But to this day, maybe it's been a year or two after that, I still get somewhat angry and jealous when I go back to comparing myself to her, thinking about how she's skinnier than me, and she never binges like I have. But I think, it's slowly getting better. I just needed to vent this, because this morning I almost relapsed into that hateful mindset that I sometimes get when I'm around her, so that's all. Thanks for reading this, I hope you're all doing well.