Hi-I found you, sorry to hear about issues with your husband. You probably already know the advice I would give (?).
Life is so complicated. And the older we get, the more apparent it becomes,
1. Past behavior usually a really good indicator of future behavior...People's basic behaviors and personality rarely change very much except when something huge (good or bad), traumatic or major life change (death, jail, severe illness, huge change in income, etc. occurs...
2. Only we know what we are willing/able to tolerate- E.g. In cases of abuse, it amazes me what some people are able or willing to endure.
I remember when we met here a few years ago, and you in your early fifties (or late 40's) were looking for a MAJOR change in your life- You began by reevaluating your childhood traumas, hoping to have better insight into the future, etc.
And, as always I wish and prayer for only the best for you. YOU ARE SO WORTHY OF blissful, joyous, peaceful and unconditional LOVE every single day of your life...
More so you deserve that pure love multiplied many times over to make-up for what you missed out on as a child...
Yep, I sound unreasonable and living in my fantasy world filled with live and good spirit-building things -lol.
Reality is, I think it's really rare that anyone has or feels that type of love, peace, joy here on earth-
Wish we all did/could.
Regardless of what's going on, we still need to be our own best friend, especially when those that surround us on a daily basis are acting bad...
(Btw- my family and especially brother and mother have behaved much worse recently - hard to believe evil/mean/selfish people like them have gotten even worse
Therefore, when we (think) we have nobody that loves us, and we have many that are knocking us down,
Even (especially) when we don't believe it,
We must look at ourselves in the mirror, with a big smile and say,
"YOU ARE LOVABLE + CAPABLE!"

You know I think you are (and likely many others think that about you too)- But we all come + go and sometimes get caught up with our own bad stuff-
So again my advice to you today, again, as usual is to suggest you be your own best friend. loving + caring and doing special things for yourself that you like + love,
Cause nobody could ever be (know) you and be the bestest friend, as you can AND SHOULD YOURSELF-
TREAT YOURSELF WONDERFULLY EVERY DAY, cause you deserve it more than you'll ever know
From your friend forever (even when I'm gone)
Gail Kathryn
Please ignore typos, I'm on my phone and cant see screen, while typing.