Sorry, didn't mean to be coy or make assumptions about how to see it. OP said this: "Really no one gave a dang about what I did and didn’t do while I was a kid." So I assume that yelling (being upset) about OP screwing something up for herself (and again this is a specific context, because OP has a specific goal of getting back into med school after some MH issues and being successful there), means something to OP. I think that the yelling means that the T cares about what OP is doing or not, which is the opposite of what happened in her childhood. I can see if one was yelled as a child (resembles my family), then yelling would have a different meaning. Or for OP, maybe the yelling means that she has to shape up, or she won't reach her goal (sort of like a nonabusive version of what boot camp instructors do to new recruits, or pledge week at a sorority. Not terribly unlike the socratic method in law school, designed to point out a student's mistakes and encourage them to do better.

I'm not a big believer in any of these things, I have not a lot of respect for "authority" and not a lot of desire to please anyone. The lawyer part of me enjoys pissing other people off when I'm trying to, means I'm landing my points. So I generally stay away from activities that require me to do things a certain way, or any clubs that require submission to thinking or behavior (which is why I don't belong to anything and being part of a group is pretty much torture). So yelling wouldn't be helpful for me.

So I think it may not be about the yelling so much as what the yelling symbolizes for OP-- and sort of sorry about the armchair analysis, but I don't think you'll mind. Yelling means someone cares about my success (and her self defined goal) and therefore I care too, and change my behavior to something more likely to result in my success.

There could be other symbols. I think there's a version of her experience in some of the abuse victims I've worked with over the years. What gets interpreted as "romantic" or "he's really into me" may actually be controlling or abusive behavior when seen in hindsight. Then his stalking her and showing up at her work or when she's at the mall or with a friend or whatever seems like the creepfest it is. Or extreme jealousy that isolates her from her family or friends feels good in the beginning because he only wants to be with her, then after she leaves him, she sees how her isolation helped him keep her feeling torn down. For some people, especially younger women, they may respond to cultural ideals that romantic love is somehow dangerous (lots of high fashion magazines use black eye makeup or corpse like poses when men and women are depicted together; or see Rhiannon/Eminem's music video "Love the Way You Lie"). I'm sure there are other examples.

Unfortunately I have met quite a few victims of violence who thought that the physical abuse itself was proof of how great their love was, or that it was so great that it could withstand craziness and pain (one must suffer for love). For some a calm and loving relationship without "fighting" feels bland, which may be confusion between the body's response to fear and the body's response to attraction (both get your heart rate and attendant physiology "aroused").

But back to childhood-- and because you asked-- I can see how neglect/inattention from parents would make you seek a "stimulating" relationship in adulthood because a lack of response or emotion feels bad and amped up emotion feels good. Or you might seek a "stimulating" relationship because it mirrors what you witnessed at home, either directed at yourself or what you saw between your parents.