I'm back from hiking. H and I had a really good time actually, we went to breakfast on the way to the canyon and talked more about the whole therapy deal and him being frustrated with me over going and stuff and the fight we had recently, he said he told me this before but I don't remember him saying it that he isn't going to make the decision for me, that he wants me to do what I need to do, that he was so frustrated because I always do what I think he wants me to do instead and then end up regretting it later and he wants me to make my own decision about it for once and do what I need to do and said he is not going to tell me what to do. He said the only reason he threatened to leave was because he had to do something to shock me into actually making a decision. I don't know if I buy that last part. But it was a really good, and felt like an honest talk, and we talked more while we were driving too, and after what he said about me always doing what I think he wants me to do, which is true, I told him what t said about me being codependent and how I found that meeting I'm going to later today, and about the book I'm reading, and as I described it a little he said that does sound like you, said it's a really good idea, and I told him that I trust t a lot and talked more about the going weekly for 3 months thing and told him that part of me wants to and part of me doesn't, but that I'd figured out that the part that doesn't is partly scared of diving that much deeper into my 'stuff'. He said "I'm not going to leave if that's part of what you're worried about." I confirmed that yes it is. And told him that I am going to do it, the weekly for 3 months thing if t is still willing, as long as we are setting that time limit on it. He also said the fact that she offered me a reduced rate should show me that she's not doing it just for the money if she was she'd ask me to pay her new rate, not a reduction of the old rate I'd been paying, he said if I was questioning her motives.

ETA here: I began really really seeing how this codependency thing can mess with your mind. Damn.

Now that I've bored everyone to tears haha next up: pics from Madera Canyon this morning.