I know I shouldn't put all the blame on myself for the problems between h and me. But I can't help but think a lot of it is caused by the codependency thing. The more I read in this book, and other people's stories on the website for the local chapter of CoDA (or whatever they call themselves) the more I feel like it is. Saying that isn't saying it's my fault though honestly. I didn't choose to be codependent. I think it happened growing up in a dysfunctional family with a cold, distant mother and the rest of it and then living with an alcoholic for 5 years certainly didn't help matters in that regard either. It's just what it is. And now that I know, I can work to heal from it.