Hello 3rdGenvic: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

My condolences on your losses. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest would be the grief & loss forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/grief-loss/

From what you wrote, it sounds as though you've been having an extremely difficult time. I don't know as I can really offer anything in the way of an authoritative answer to your question. Subjectively, based on my own personal experience, I would say yes toxic shame can get increasingly worse with every traumatizing event. Each time you become re-traumatized it reinforces the thought patterns in your brain that you interpret as toxic shame. (I'm certainly no expert with regard to this. But it makes sense to me.)

Here are links to 6 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of toxic shame & how to heal from it. Hopefully some of the information in these articles can be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-toxic-shame/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/uneart...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-powe...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/surpri...sts_position=0

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-po...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/overco...our-true-self/

My best wishes to you...