Yabbut youve been with your h for x years and he can still play the im leaving card? My parents were like this - my dad said he felt it was exciting to be insecure about whether or not my mother loved him. I just thought it was stupid that our parents treated us kids like strangers they couldnt trust half the time.

So thats what it seems like to me - that its about feeling that sense of security. Slapping an end date on it IMPLIES you have a sense of security - like yeah i can quit this anytime!

You say "cuz it cant be forever". Thats negative. What IS it, then? What is a positive you can REST in, BE in.

You have the cart, you have the horse. It feels to me like you are just tying up loose ends......