I can definitely relate to what you're feeling. Have you found a good therapist to help you start to sort through the sense of overwhelm and depression you're struggling with? You say you're always helping others which is great if its for the right reasons, but that's something I've had to learn and took years to do it, that we need to treat ourselves with the same support compassion and love as we would our best friend or loved one. Otherwise we have nothing left to nurture ourselves.